There were some daaaamn angry people at Starbucks this morning, and as much as I love my morning latte, holy SHIT guys - it is just coffee.
Customer #1: Grabs a bottle of water and starts drinking from it before she’s paid for it so you know she’s That Person. She gets to the counter, orders a grande Komodo Dragon blend, but lo and behold, the morning rush has run through the current batch. The barista says as much, asking her if she doesn’t mind waiting three minutes while they brew some fresh coffee.
Let us pause and reflect what has just transpired: a busy coffee shop has MOMENTARILY run out of a particular blend of coffee during their peak time and an employee of said coffee shop has offered to brew FRESH COFFEE in what amounts to PRETTY MUCH NO TIME AT ALL. It happens, right? And it’s not a big problem, right? Well, according to this particular customer, it’s pretty much the end of HER fucking world, evidenced in how she settles herself in the Oh No You Di-int stance, and snarks that it’s “unbelievable” that a coffee shop would let a batch of coffee run dry and not make a new one.
Guys, I worked at Starbucks for like, six weeks, and it happens. You know what’s unbelievable? Unicorns. Faster-than-light-speed travel. Charlie Sheen’s popularity.
After the barista asks the customer if she’s okay with waiting three minutes while they brew a new batch of coffee, the customer plants her hands on the counter and says - and I am not making this up - “Here’s what you’re going to do. Tip the canister, pour out what’s left. Top it up with Pike Place if you have too.”
Unfortunately for the barista, who was on the receiving end of the most scathing glare I’ve ever seen, the Pike Place was running low as well. Thankfully - lest further “inconvenience” cause this woman to reveal her true form (that of something from the seventh Bolgia of hell) - there is enough coffee in both canisters to mostly fill a cup. The barista then gives her the coffee, saying that it’s on the house, to which the woman replies, “I know” before storming off.
Doesn’t get much worse, right?
Customer #2: Throws his change on the counter and decrees: “Grande Komodo Dragon blend.” The barista noticeably deflates at this and repeats what she JUST finished saying to Customer #1: Komodo Dragon is out. So’s the Pike Place. We’re brewing more. She asks, “Would you like an Americano?” He says, “No I would not!” with such offended, disgusted indignation, it’s breathtaking. Dude, she didn’t ask if you wanted a grande sewage rot with room for whatever the fuck is lodged in the wheel wells of her car after driving through six inches of dirty, melting snow. She asked you if you’d like a watered down espresso shot.
After recovering from the alleged offense, he - again - demands a grande Komodo Dragon blend. The barista REPEATS: “Would you mind waiting three minutes while we brew the coffee?” to which this guy responds “I don’t think so”, grabs his change off of the counter and charges out the door.
The hell??
Notes
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chinamarsh liked this
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arliss said:
Barrista coach needs to teach the deadeyed, “It’ll be up in a minute. Stand over there.” response. Asshat customer is not always right, your eight dollars is not worth all that.
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fascinatingworldofmine reblogged this from ventidork and added:
counter, decided...my drink AND BREWED IT MYSELF IN MY COFFEE POT. ;)
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betchnumbertwo reblogged this from ventidork and added:
starbucks, too many uppity, rude people.
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ventidork posted this
