February 2012
12 posts
1 tag
So the Oscars were last night. I correctly predicted 19 out of the 24 categories. Which basically means that my degree in Film & Media Studies is finally paying off.
“You want a physicist to speak at your funeral. You want the physicist to talk to...”
– Aaron Freeman “You Want A Physicist To Speak at your Funeral” (source: npr)
This is one of the most lovely and comforting things I’ve ever read or heard about death and grieving, and I have been to more funerals than I can remember.
(via anachronistique)
This is so wonderful and brilliant.
(via...
Also: When I saw The Artist, the movie ended and I was pretty confident that it was shoe-in for Best Picture. I left the theatre thinking that there’s absolutely no movie that could compete with it, because the performances, the photography, the production design, the story, EVERYTHING was perfect. (I’m also a sucker for old movies, so I’m a little biased.)
Yesterday I saw Hugo...
1 tag
Another weekend, another marathon of being in-my-PJs-all-day-everyday-don’t-judge-me.
Also: Brigadoon is less the historical epic about Scottish regiments fighting in World War 2 and more an MGM musical about a magical village that appears out of the highland mists every century, with Gene Kelly dancing his way into the heart of Cyd Charisse. Shouldn’t I know this?? I feel like I should know...
Today is Groundhog Day or, as I prefer to think of it, The Day Western Civilization Abandons Science and Reason in Favor of Outmoded Means of Predicting Weather Patterns. Apparently, the tradition has its roots in “ancient European weather lore” (which is the best kind of lore) and dates back to 1841 in the States. Not sure when Canada got on board, but apparently Alberta’s...
4 tags
ALSO. I will be over the friggin’ MOON when Valentine’s Day is over, not because of the saccharine schmaltz and romance and overpriced chocolate, but because the excessive advertising for counter-programmed horror movies will end, and I won’t have to worry about that creepy old lady from The Woman in Black appearing out of no where and scaring the beejeezus out of me when...
While attempting to find The Tree of Life on PPV, I’m pretty sure that I inadvertently ordered No Strings Attached six times. You’re welcome, Ashton Kutcher.
Dear Cambell’s Soup-At-Hand Microwavable Soup:
STOP EXPLODING IN MY MICROWAVE. I thought we talked about this. JESUS.
I’m not trying to be uppity here, but for a something that purports to be super convenient, you’re kind of…not…convenient. Because instead of enjoying “delicious sippable soups–anywhere, anytime” I curse your VERY NAME while scraping the...
There used to be this car commercial on TV, and it went something like this: The featured vehicle (I can’t remember exactly what it was, but I would wager it was probably a truck or an SUV because everyone here drives a truck and/or an SUV, and sometimes they have testicles, which is something I’ll never completely understand) is driving across the roughest possible terrain: over...
January 2012
15 posts
1 tag
3 tags
For the record, I have a crush on Van Johnson. He’s the new Gary Cooper, who was the new James Stewart. I’ve watched In the Good Old Summertime almost as many times as I’ve watched Amelie, which is to say: a lot.
This week, in between packing boxes, cleaning up, and filling out change of address cards, I’ll be watching The Last Time I Saw Paris for. sure.
3 tags
Dear Dentist (Who Looks Like Chris Evans, Which Makes Going to the Dentist So Completely Awesome That I May Never Brush My Teeth Again):
I would like to express my sincere appreciation regarding the new massage chairs which you have installed in your practice. They are totally awesome. It was a pleasant surprise to have my back lightly massaged while one of your hygienists lacerated my gums as...
The fun part about getting more active is becoming acquainted with muscles you didn’t think you had. Like, really. Like, you really thought you were a genetic anomaly because no matter how many sit-ups your sadistic gym teacher made you do or how many crunches you do at the gym, your rectus abdominis is apparently MIA. I’m 99% sure that the only thing keeping me upright and protecting...
More angry people at Starbucks! What? I know! How could anyone be ANGRY at a STARBUCKS??
Customer #1: Orders a grande, no water, NO FOAM chai latte, and then sends it back TWICE for not being foamy enough. The barista kindly explains that 1) Customer #1 ordered the drink with NO FOAM so it shouldn’t be foamy at all, and 2) even IF she wanted more foam, by virtue of it being a chai latte,...
It probably speaks volumes re: where my head is at in terms of home ownership that the FIRST THING I DO in preparation of the big move is to make sure I have cable and internet set up within 24 hours of moving in.
5 tags
There were some daaaamn angry people at Starbucks this morning, and as much as I love my morning latte, holy SHIT guys - it is just coffee.
Customer #1: Grabs a bottle of water and starts drinking from it before she’s paid for it so you know she’s That Person. She gets to the counter, orders a grande Komodo Dragon blend, but lo and behold, the morning rush has run through the...
My 10 year high school reunion was two and a half years ago. No, I didn’t feel old. I didn’t feel like I’d wasted the last 10 years. I didn’t feel overly nostalgic for the time I’d spent in high school. I’d read stories and watched movies about people facing down their 10 year high school reunion with fear or regret or sadness, or unending excitement because high school truly...
So, you know when you buy a cup of soup thing and you’re like, Sweet, I’m going to make some soup for lunch because it seems like a soup kind of day, and you follow the instructions to the letter, uncapping this, removing that, stirring that other thing, and you put the cup of soup in the microwave for a minute and FIFTEEN SECONDS (no more, no less) and about twenty seconds in, it falls over?...
For some reason, I’m flashing back to my last class in Contemporary Theory in Psychology last April. At the end of the lecture, the professor handed out the questions for the final exam. I know what you’re thinking! The PROFESSOR handed out the QUESTIONS for the FINAL EXAM! How awesome is that?! The entire class got the questions ahead of time and instead of trying to study an...
4 tags
Dear Guy on OkCupid,
This probably isn’t the best approach:
“Soo I tried viewing your profile but you were too hot and my computer exploded. It also it blew a hole in the wall and broke a water pipe. now my shower doesn’t work. Since it is kind of your fault, I think it’s only fair that you let borrow yours.”
All the best, K
Discussing Fitness Goals for 2012 With My Sister
fascinatingworldofmine:
Me: Beto Perez is my hero.
Sister: Who?
Me: The Columbian dancer.
Sister: …
Me: He created Zumba.
Sister: Ah!
Me: Have you tried Zumba?
Sister: Yes, and I had NO CLUE what was happening.
Me: So…I take it you wouldn’t go again?
Sister: It wouldn’t be pretty.
Fair enough.
True story, yo.
So, after something like three and a half years working at where I work, I decided to go out and get some work appropriate shoes. The dress code at my office is somewhere between business casual and black tie. The only time we can wear jeans is during Stampede or if we’re trying to raise money for something.
Anyway, I needed new shoes because I was wearing these every day:
With ...
Possible Names of Mine, According to my iPhone’s Voicemail-to-Text-Message Feature:
Cad
Chad
Chet
Cracker
Ken
Kevin
Karl
Ted
Being a girl, this is somewhat disturbing.
6 tags
So here’s something kind of messed up. A few days ago, I was watching Castle on DVD (this is not the messed up part) which is pretty much the greatest television show in the history of everything, and I’m not just saying that because Nathan Fillion and I went to the same university. I’m catching up on the third season, doing what I did last year where I watch an entire series...
December 2011
54 posts
1 tag
Whilst packing, I found the MOTHERLODE of Lego. In related news: packing has been abandoned in favor of building a castle or a Starship, I haven’t decided yet.
String theory posits this: everything in this world, every single thing, comprises infinitesimally small vibrating strings of energy, and that the variations in these vibrations generate electrons and quarks, which in turn coalesce to form protons and neutrons, which then combine to produce the atoms that make up the elements that constitute the compounds in, among other things, a grande...
“.. but one of the best gifts we can give ourselves is to get rid of our excuses.”
– The Secret Letters of The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari by Robin Sharma (via kari-shma)
Some wonder if the star of Bethlehem Occurred when Jupiter and Saturn crossed; It’s comforting to look up from this roof And feel that, while all changes, nothing’s lost, To recollect that in antiquity The winter solstice fell in Capricorn And that, in the Orion Nebula, From swirling gas, new stars are being born.
~ from Toward the Winter Solstice by Timothy Steele
Is it just me, or is LOL less of a reaction and more of a punctuation mark these days?
This morning, after giving the Greyhounds their morning Thanks For Not Shitting in the House biscuit, someone apparently walked away from the Costco-sized box of Milk Bones, forgetting that the box (roughly the size of a Volkswagen) was left open and perched precariously near the edge of the table.
I say “apparently walked away from it” because when I returned home, I found the...
So, last night I had a dream about a blue duck, and now that I think of it, I vaguely recall that the duck was more of a duck-butterfly hybrid, which is pretty awesome. Nothing crazy happened in the dream: the duck wasn’t magical, it didn’t reveal the meaning of life, it wasn’t my spirit guide or anything like that. Essentially, the duck perched on my shoulder and chilled while I tried...
Okay, so I went to the grocery store to pick up some things and while I was perusing the dairy section, a family of five - mom, dad, grandma, grandpa and a boy about six years old - was talking about something, most of which I didn’t hear, but toward the end of the conversation, the six year old shook his head slowly and said, most earnestly and solemnly, “Ah, the good old ...
Due to the perfect storm of shitty diet, genetics and some low-lying stress that isn’t enough to consciously register but is enough to result in fitful sleep, fatigue and irritability, my hair is thinning. And today, while I was getting my hair cut, I mentioned it to the stylist, and she had some pretty awesome suggestions to fix it/hide it/just fucking deal with it, all of which I might try...
1 tag
Maybe I’m missing something, but whoever wrote the lyrics for the OneRepublic/Timbaland song “Apologize” didn’t do their homework. The guy singing the song CLEARLY isn’t happy with his current relationship. Shit’s gone done, he’s pissed off, she’s pissed off, and he says that it’s too late to apologize for wrongdoings, etc. etc. and...
December Round-Up: Decembers of Years Past
Mid-80s: Listened non-stop Disney’s Christmas Favorites (on VINYL) while overwhelmed by the heavy velvet jewel tones of Christmas decorations circa 1985 (I remember Christmas in the 80s as being especially dark, dusty and, like, heavy somehow.) Would lose mind when Santa’s Castle went up in Sunridge Mall; Dad and I would have dinner at Arby’s before going...
3 tags
Let’s talk about neighbors, y’all, because in a few short weeks, I’m going to have my very own neighbors, and what with it being my property and all, I probably won’t be able to hide out and pretend like I’m never there, which is what I do where I’m currently living. When I move into my condo, my neighbors will hear doors opening and closing, they will hear...
Dear “Personalized Book Recommendations Just for You!” email from Chapters:
It doesn’t count if you send me a list comprising books that I JUST finished looking at on your website.
Love, K
3 tags
Lies My Parents Told Me in Order to Quell the Irrational Fears of a Child:
It’s impossible for tornadoes to happen in Calgary, due to the proximity to the Rocky Mountains, so stop losing your shit every time the wind picks up enough to shake the pine tree in the front yard, which is apparently THE litmus test for apocalyptic winds
Houses in our neighborhood can’t catch fire and...
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Irrefutable Proof of the Existence of a Higher Power: When you’re able to recover - completely recover - an incredibly important Word document from almost certain data corruption.
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I’m not exactly sure when people at work just decided to stop doing their dishes and began assuming that the janitorial staff or like, house elves, would magically take care of their oatmeal-encrusted bowls and cups lined with layer upon layer of Office Coffee Residue, but there’s been a pile of dishes collecting in the sink at an alarming rate lately, and I’m kind of...
For Christmas, one of my coworkers gave me a tea sampler, which is pretty awesome because usually, I’m mainlining orange pekoe or Earl Grey or some kind of leafy green tea, and I really need to try something different. I shy away from the more exotic teas, like anything that I can’t pronounce or that has “matcha” or “rooibos” because they sound less like tea and...
“Life can be wildly tragic and I’ve had my share. But whatever happens to you,...”
– Katharine Hepburn (via e-pic)